THE NEW SEXUAL MANTRA: DESIRE/PLEASURE/EROTICISM/SATISFACTION

Part 2: Eroticism/Satisfaction

3. EROTICISM

Good intimacy doesn’t guarantee good sex (Perel, 2016). Sexual eroticism applies to erotic attraction in a couple, not to porn as believed by many cultures. It’s known as romance. It’s all about being emotionally involved. Eroticism plays a social function that needs not to be overtly sexual to benefit individuals. However, given a potential for sexual attraction to both sexes, the cultural environment and social experience have the defining role in shaping the experience of sexual attraction. In addition, eroticism is not necessarily sexual and can be expressed as intimate affection. It’s believed that eroticism predispositions are products of homozygous genotypes for attraction and are by-products of typical genetic variation (Kauth, 2000). 

Healthy eroticism involves taking emotional sexual risks, sexual vitality and creativity. It involves subjective arousal from 6 to 10. Pleasure and eroticism are different dimensions, but not adversarial or incompatible. Eroticism results if fulfilling couple sexuality for both the woman and the man. Eroticism energises the relationship. It’s about creativity, mystery, taking risks, unpredictability, and intense emotions and sensations. Eroticism can be misused and become destructive due to performance demands and the misunderstanding of the role of erotic fantasies and materials, including on-line stimuli with X-rated videos, sex novels, mirrors, sexual toys and on-line scenarios which can be intimidating than empowering for others. It’s about the giving partner feeling turned-on by the receiving partner’s erotic response (Barry McCarthy, 2015). 

In order to experience sexual eroticism, we need self-awareness/consciousness, because same-sex eroticism claims to function to reduce intra-sex conflicts and competition and increase access to high quality resources by facilitating the formation of emotionally significant alliances. Eroticism is not about impressing the partner, but a key the partner’s desire, pleasure and satisfaction. It’s all about an interaction. 

4. SATISFACTION  

Satisfaction is the climax and the coronation of every healthy sexual intercourse. Sexual satisfaction may be defined as a good, produced in a sexual dyad; with a resulting distribution of variable equity. This involves a state of feeling happy, feeling loved, and feeling physically and emotionally satisfied after having an orgasm during sex intercourse (Swenson, 2008). It’s going beyond an orgasm. It’s about feeling emotionally and sexually attached to your partner. The woman’s sexual voice is an indicator of how satisfied she is and how she’s concerned about lifting her partner’s sexual senses. This is openly displayed when a couple develops after-play scenarios, such as warm, playful, seductive or romantic scenarios, this shows to each other how wonderful it was to have been in safe hands sexually. 

Sexual satisfaction is probably influenced by the history of exchanges in the sexual relationship. In his book Sexual Behavior: Problems and Management, McConaghy warns that sexual satisfaction is most related to the couple’s emotional relationship rather than their sexual function.